zenmama

Every parent braces for the infamous three-month sleep regression. We’d heard stories from our parent-friends about sleepless nights and cranky babies, and we thought we were prepared. But our little one had different plans. Instead of a sleep regression, we faced something we hadn’t even known even existed: feed regression, which eventually spiralled into feed aversion. This is our story of navigating these challenging waters and finding our way back to joyful feeding times.

Understanding feed regression vs. feed aversion

The first signs were subtle but concerning. Our previously eager drinker’s intake plummeted from 120ml (4oz) every three hours to a mere 20ml (0.67oz), with no hunger cues in sight! This was a feed regression—a phenomenon we’d never heard of before. Panic set in, and like many first-time parents, we made the mistake of force feeding our child, unknowingly creating a more serious problem: feed aversion. Both conditions are similar in that the child takes in less, but the symptoms aren’t the same. 

Feed regression:

• A temporary decrease in food-intake
• Can be normal during non-growth spurt periods
• May be triggered by changes in taste preferences or mild discomfort
• Usually resolves naturally, especially when the child feels hungry

Feed aversion:

• Develops when feeding becomes traumatic
• Results in fear and crying when it’s time for a feed (in our case, at the sight of a bottle)
• May be resolved naturally with patience and gentle coaxing

The wake-up call

Our turning point came during a visit to the paediatrician, whose calm reassurance was exactly what we needed. He taught us valuable signs of health to watch out for, such as indication of hydration through these three signs: drool production, about four wet diapers a day, and quick blood return test on fingertips when lightly pressed. Generally, overall alertness and a happy baby are both good signs too!

The paediatrician also advised us to have patience and trust in our growing bundle of joy. Every child is different and hits milestones differently. As parents, we needed to be less uptight and let things flow naturally. Our child will tell us when he’s hungry or ready. These are lessons that we carry with us through today.

Our journey back to healthy feeding

Getting our little one back to a happier and healthier feeding routine took patience, creativity and many sleepless nights. Here are two tips that worked for us:

1. Dream feed

Dream feeding is a technique where you feed the baby before they wake up at night. The benefit of this is to ensure my baby has both the hydration and nourishment each day while we work on turning his negative associations with feeds in the day into positive ones. The disadvantage is having disrupted sleeping patterns, since my husband and I took turns to feed our little one through the night. We fed him while he was asleep constantly thrice through the night (120ml a feed); at midnight, in the middle of the night around 3pm, and lastly just before he woke up for the day at 7.30am. We stopped dream-feeding our baby as often once he was no longer averse to feeding, and would only feed him at night if he was hungry.

2. Creating positive associations

Since we created a negative association with milk bottles, we knew we had to show him that milk bottles aren’t scary by following his cues—in general, if he was hungry, we’d feed him. If he didn’t want to be fed, we wouldn’t force him. This gave him a safe space to acknowledge that milk bottles aren’t something to be feared. Slowly, we regained his trust and he overcame his fear of milk bottles, and we could gradually increase his feed. Also, if he didn’t finish the milk in his bottle, we wouldn’t force him.

For breastfeeding mothers, I understand how painful it is to dispose of unfinished breastmilk. I recommend using the remainder as a milk bath for your child. We simply mixed some water along with the leftover milk and gently poured it over my child’s body. Somehow milk baths turned my child’s skin ultra silky-smooth!

Tips for parents facing similar challenges

The experience was invaluable and taught us to trust our child’s instincts and remain calm during challenges. Every baby is different and progress isn’t always linear. If you’re facing similar challenges, apart from staying calm, here are some tips and tricks that have helped us ease our anxiety.

1. Watch for early signs

• Sudden decrease in feeding: not eating as much
• Changes in feeding behaviour: refusing a food your child liked previously
• Stress or discomfort during feeding times: unwilling to eat or fussing during meal times

2. Do’s:

• Staying patient and calm: Sometimes your child may not be hungry. I recommend trying again, but never force feed
• Monitor hydration through wet diapers and the steps mentioned above (the wake-up call segment)
• Keep detailed feeding logs: there are baby applications which help keep track of your little one’s feeding schedule. We used the Nara app, which was useful in identifying our little one’s feeding and sleeping patterns as he grew older
• Celebrate small improvements: caring for a fussy eater is tough, but when they do finish their meal, give them a peck on their cheek and a cuddle, and gently encourage them on the progress they made

3. Dont’s:

• Force feed your child
• Compare your child to other babies who may feed better
• Panic over setbacks: there will always be bad days when nurturing a little one. But look on the bright side, there are good days too!

The light at the end of the tunnel

After a little over a month of dedicated dream-feeding and patience, our little one returned to his normal feeding routine of 120ml per feed. While the journey was exhausting, it taught us valuable lessons about trusting our child’s cues and staying positive through challenges.

The key is to remember that every child is different, and what works for one might not work for another. Trust your instincts and seek professional help when needed, and know these phases will pass. Your calm presence and patience is exactly what your little one needs to thrive. Hang tight, mama! You’re doing great!

* This is personal account on my child’s feed aversion *